Las Vegas Recovery Ratio

I survived my first Las Vegas bachelorette party!! No puking, no sunburn, no molestation, but am I ever tired. Given that I was only there for 2 days, came back on Sunday and it's now Tuesday afternoon, it seems an unustifiable amount of exhaustion. I've had to resort to a coffee frappucino (it being a balmy 20 degrees in Vancouver today, a blended ice drink was needed) at 1:45 after my lunch time power walk to get me through the afternoon.

Here is my review of some of the delights Las Vegas has to offer:

Mirage: an older hotel but the rooms were fairly updated.
Pros: staff were fairly patient with drunken girls spilling bottled water on their lobby floor at 6am in the morning
Cons: black streaks which Kim guessed might be mould found on one towel

Pool Parties: where no one swims, the men gawk at the women, and official hottie contests are held
Pros: Mash lent me a hat and I didn't get sunburnt. Too early in the day for the men to be drunk enough to get grabby. Tossing beach bawls around keepy-uppy style actually kinda fun.
Cons: missing the guest list by 2 minutes = $20 entry fee.

Restaurants: amazing steak at Joe's Seafood and Steakhouse, frozen hot chocolate at Serendipity 3, champagne buffet at Mirage
Pros: YUM YUM YUM and not that pricey! I think I devoured 25 prawns with cocktail sauce at the buffet. I even wasted space with a barbecue pork bun from the dim sum table but I couldn't help it - those are my favourite!
Cons: none. but i was so stuffed after the buffet I needed to lie down for 2 hours

Behold the 4-cheese mac and cheese from Joe's and the frozen hot chocolate from Serendipity!

Clubs: Tao
Pros: none
Cons: snooty bartender getting snippy with us when we stood on the wrong side of the cut-off point at the bar where the waitresses pick up table orders, then proceeding to completely ignore us and not serve us, until such time that the cut-off for free drinks from our wristbands was past and Kim had to pay $26 for her double. No-where to hang out. Music not good.

Clubs: Marquee
Pros: amazing amazing venue, outside partying on roof-top with pool and views of the other hotels and their bright lights. Venue not so stuffed that you were cheek to cheek with strangers.
Cons: nowhere for the women who didn't pay $$$$$$ to reserve a table to sit, forcing all the women, who, in their real lives, I'm sure are completely decent women with scruples, to whore themselves out flirting with groups of men in order to secure a seat at their tables to rest their weary feet (which are all in 5 inch heels).

Clubbing in general
Con: dressing up like a ho makes you feel really dirty
Pro: dressing up like a ho can make you feel quite pretty. hahahaha.

And I think it's a record that I managed to snap at only one person, but he really deserved it. Douchebag towncar driver was trying to rip us off by charging us $40 to go from Caesar's Palace to Excalibur, claiming that two taxis would cost us $20 for each taxi at least. Knowing full well it doesn't (it costs $11 for each) I refused to deal with him and proceeded to wait 15 minutes for a taxi because we weren't at the busiest taxi queue for Caesar's. While we were waiting, he could tell that we were getting a bit antsy because we were trying to make it to Excalibur in time for a show, he had the nerve to come up and taunt me by remarking "if you had taken the car you'd be there by now". To which I responded reactively "OH. THANK YOU. That's VERY HELPFUL". Then proceeded in my head to punch him in the face and revise that response to a more venomous "Wow, thanks for that, you douchebag, and we'd also be ripped off by you right now you enormous scumbag". But I can never think that fast! Why can't I ever think that fast???